Self-Care Road Trip
As I write this, it’s the eve of my 47th birthday, and a self-care road trip comes to mind. I’m sitting alone at 9 PM in an empty sushi restaurant in Schenectady, NY.
How did I get here?
Let’s go back in time for a moment…
Just over a year ago, the task of my coaching certification final exam was looming. I knew the best way to motivate myself was to book a weekend retreat as a deadline—aka, ‘ You must submit your exam before this date, and the reward will be to go on the retreat.’
This is how the voices in my head operate.
So I booked one…at Kripalu
The Weekend
Despite my love of this place historically, I didn’t love this particular weekend. The crowd and people seemed to always be in a rush, unable to let go of their phones or busy lives.
To be clear, the program I attended was excellent. I had a lovely roommate. The grounds are beautiful. I wish they had a ‘check your phone at the door’ policy.
This could be another one of my quirks, but I was annoyed with just about all the other humans around me.
So when Jessi Magick announced four weekend retreats in 2024, all in the Northeast with an accessible payment plan, I was all in. After two retreats in Costa Rica, plus other workshops with her and her community, I just knew – these are my people.
Now, as I make my way to the first one in New York State, almost at the Canadian Border, I feel grateful that I booked them when I did.
Workshops
I got some unfortunate news this week. It’s not the end of the world type news. But it is sucky news, nonetheless. Out of respect for others involved, I can say no more. I will say that it’s a reminder to employ the practices that I teach in my Flowing Through Life’s Transitions workshop.
This workshop brings all of my favorite practices together, which have supported me through tough times and enhanced my life when things are flowing. They include:
Walking Meditation
Over the last several days, I have upped my practice of walking meditation.
Back in 2017, when I was on a silent retreat that was a requirement for my mindfulness training, I thought walking meditation was weird as fuck. Everything about my first few days there was a struggle. I’d look around at the ‘zombies’ and think, what the hell? Then I tried it, and I haven’t stopped. Walking meditation is for those of us who can’t sit still and those with racing thoughts. It is best for me because I ‘can’t’ meditate. It’s soooo accessible. I have done it while making dinner, in the grocery store, on a lunch break, and so much more.
Mood Tracking
Mood tracking has also been essential to my journey. Our society tells us to feel bad about feeling bad. But it changes things when we recognize emotions as data and that there is no good or bad. We can realize the energy of emotions and when they are pleasant or unpleasant. We can recognize triggers for emotions. Additionally, we can regulate our emotions. This gives us a greater sense of autonomy over how we feel. The Mood Meter, developed by Marc Brackett, PhD. is an excellent tool. When tracking your mood, know that feeling more than one emotion at once is normal and can often be a juxtaposition.
Energetic Self Perception
This concept has helped me answer a lifelong question: ” Why am I like this?”
Taking the Energy Leadership Index Assessment showed me that when things go well for me, I want them to go well for everyone. I want everyone to win—the ideas and creativity flow. But when I go low, I go really low. During this time of transition, there is a good deal of uncertainty. And quite honestly, I am feeling more scarcity than abundance. So, I’m giving myself time to wallow and to process. Because I know how to regulate and allow myself to lean on my support system, I know I won’t stay here forever. But the reality of the human experience is that it includes the lows. Trying not to feel them does not serve us. Because if we can’t feel the lows, we stop feeling the highs. We stop FEELING.
Ecstatic Dance
I define ecstatic dance as organic movement. This weekend, on my retreat with Jessi, we’re learning to move past patterned behaviors and movements. It’s magical. I encourage you to try it. Move. Dance like nobody’s watching. It’s not like a Zumba class. Not like anything you’ve seen on TV. Without rules. Without judgment. You may even invoke my rage & sage ritual. Whatever calls to you. See how it feels.
Insight Dialogue
Like everything else on earth, we don’t live in isolation. We interact with people, places, and things. And people can often be the hardest. That’s why the practice of insight dialogue is so profound. This relational meditation practice has shown me that I don’t always have to be talking. I now use my ears and mouth in this ration. It calls in specific guidelines developed by Gregory Kramer. They are:
- Pause
- Relax
- Open
- Trust Emergence
- Listen Deeply
- Speak the Truth
Once I have fully explored these guidelines through meditation, the dialogue practice begins. We typically have a topic or a prompting question to get things started. In pairs, we discuss the prompt. Partner A speaks. Followed by partner B listening. Partner B does not respond. Only listens and listens deeply. Then they switch. There can be several prompts throughout a dialogue session, but at the end, we have a debrief where the structure is relaxed. Of course, deep listening and witnessing is critically important.
LovingKindness Meditation
This is how we close the workshop. This practice fosters self-compassion and compassion for others. We use a mantra to focus the mind.
Firstly, May I/You be safe.
Secondly, May I/You be happy.
Thirdly, May I/You be free from suffering.
In this practice, we always start with ourselves. We then move on to a being that we love, a neutral being, and then a complicated being, always being kind and compassionate to ourselves.
I describe this workshop as the one that brings together all the practices that have supported me through the hard shit. I know that these practices will be with me for life. If you want to book a Flowing Through Life’s Transitions workshop, contact me, and let’s chat.
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