Radical Presence
There’s a commercial I’ve been hearing in the morning while indulging in my guilty pleasure of listening to Boston Sports Radio. I believe it is for Xfinity WiFi, where a dad calls customer service. He’s concerned because his kid invited her whole class to her birthday party. His concern…
Radical WiFi
Their WiFi won’t be able to handle it. Oh, the horror!
What if they are all streaming videos, and then what if all the parents are creating and uploading videos simultaneously?
WTF ?!?!?!!
But don’t worry…
Xfinity’s got you covered with mega ultra super WTF WiFi.
I can feel the tension rising in my body even as I type this.
What I’m about to say, I say with so much love…
You are not that important.
Oof. That may be hard to hear, so let me explain.
Our current Society
We’ve become a society that is so controlled and addicted to our mobile devices and screens that we’ve forgotten how to be in the presence of one another. And I fear for the future and what will happen to us as we move to a world where humans and AI are almost indistinguishable.
Now I know there are exceptions. If you are a health care provider, a high-ranking official, or other type of first responder, then it is important that you have your phone by your side. If your close friend or family member is having surgery or some other health issue and you are their caregiver, then by all means, have that phone on the ready.
Put the Phone Down
Everyone else, put the fucking phone down and look at the people, places, and things that are right in front of you. Enjoy them and fight the urge to post everything.
I remember being a 28-year-old junior customer success manager at a software company and getting my first ‘smartphone,’ a Palm Treo. It completely sucked me in and started destroying my psyche. Every time I got an email, no matter what time of day or night, I knew it, and I felt compelled to respond within 30 seconds. Every time it rang, because people still made phone calls in those days, I felt that dopamine hit, feeding my ego.
Of course, technology evolved, and eventually, there was the Q, the first Android, and then the iPhone. And with it came more. LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram…
The Impact
More inputs to keep up with. And a feeling that I was always behind. This feeling leads to burnout. There certainly have always been inputs, but in the pre-technology days, they had limits. There was no infinite scroll. Communication in all forms was slower. Slower to create and slower to consume.
In today’s world, I find myself conflicted. As a business owner, I know it is important to be responsive. I’ve always prided myself on that. However, 24-48 hours seems like a reasonable SLA for email responses. Matters of urgency should likely be addressed via other means, perhaps a text message or a phone call!
Notifications OFF!
If you get nothing else from reading this, I urge you to at least try…
TURNING YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA NOTIFICATIONS OFF.
It doesn’t matter how many likes you have.
The comments can wait.
DMS are fun but not urgent.
And if you are bored and doom-scrolling. Why?!?!
Please don’t misunderstand me; I see value in the platforms I use.
LinkedIn is the new Rolodex, and I love making professional connections.
Facebook has allowed me to reconnect and stay connected to so many people who I treasure.
Instagram is fun, and there is so much content that brings a smile to my face.
X, formerly known as Twitter, has become a cesspool, but I’ll admit that every so often, I’ll indulge. And usually regret it.
My Terms
But my interaction on these platforms is on my terms.
I have no notifications.
Most of the time, I set timers.
I tune into my body when I have the urge to open any platform.
I ask why, and to keep things simple, if the answer is boredom, I do all that I can to resist.
If it’s intentional, I set a timer and put limits in place.
When I’m in the presence of others, I try my hardest to tuck the phone away and be fully present and devoted to the person or people right there in front of me.
It’s Not Your Fault
If this all seems hard, remember that it’s not your fault. The Center for Humane Technology has documented the impacts and dangers of the attention economy and the addictive nature of these platforms. So just like weaning off anything else, go slow and give yourself grace. Find systems and methods that work for you.
You may just find more happiness and fulfillment IRL (in real life).
Wanna chat about this? Contact me!
Watch this short video to dive deeper into Radical Presence.
join my community
Made with love in Massachusetts, USA.
Available from anywhere on earth.
Website Designed by Leesi Jinadu