On Growing Yourself...
Years ago, before I really put some thought in the art of growing yourself, I had a job that required me to travel to university campuses to stand at a table and talk to students. It was a fun job and if nothing else it had great people-watching value.
There was once a day where I found myself at the University of Maryland. It was a day like any other and started out unremarkably. I had worked at this event year after year and as much as I loved my job, I was a bit bored with the ritual.
That is, until I met Bill.
Bill is a man in his 80s who takes full advantage of the fact that the State of Maryland offers free tuition to retirees to take as many university classes as they would like, free of charge.
Bill walked confidently up to my table, amongst a sea of 18 year olds to see what Lynda.com was all about. For those who don’t know, Lynda.com became LinkedIn Learning, a library of thousands of video-based courses teaching everything from Photoshop, to Excel, to how to configure your Raspberry Pi. When Bill approached me, he did so with genuine curiosity. First, I assumed he was someone’s grandfather at first. Secondly, I assumed I’d have to speak to him slowly, like he wouldn’t understand anything about what I was offering. So when he asked me if we had courses on Python, my jaw nearly dropped to the floor.
All the bias and all the ageism left my body at that moment. Of course I’d like to think I don’t have any biases, but I’ve taken far too many Unconscious Bias courses to know that is hardly the case. For all of my adult life, I’ve considered myself a lifelong learner. But I personally never envisioned myself learning into my 80s. I had assumed after ‘retirement’ I’d sail away into the sunset, whatever that means.
After Bill happily left the table, knowing that he had a new resource to learn Python, I allowed myself to fully grasp the enormity of this encounter.
Bill wasn’t wasting away in a nursing home somewhere. Nor was he telling himself he was too old for this shit, as many of us say. Bill was not making any excuses. He was confidently walking through a noisy college campus among ‘typical freshmen’ with swagger. He exuded confidence, knowledge, and wisdom.
I learned later from my contacts at the university that he had lost his wife about a year earlier. Of course, I found it incredibly inspiring that he chose to light his fire rather than allow his flame to blow out. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for him to have lost his wife of 50+ years. He would have had every right to wallow in his misery. But instead, he chose to enrich his life through learning and perfecting the art of “growing yourself.”
I know that we are not all going to learn Python in our 80s. But I also know that we can all learn anything at any age. I know that learning = happiness and I want that for YOU! As adults, especially mature adults, we can shut down when it comes to learning. We get caught up in societal norms of being too old, not having enough time, or not seeing the value, especially when it comes to investing in ourselves.
That all stops when you hire me as your coach. If you want to learn it, whatever it is, I will support you in getting there and growing yourself.
Growing yourself as an adult
I won’t sugar coat it. Learning as an adult is hard. Our course is not charted for us. Only we can decide to learn that new skill, to finish that degree, or to get a new one. And there are external factors that may hold us back like work, childcare, exhaustion, responsibilities, money, or whatever – name your excuse.
More powerful than that is the limiting beliefs that plague us all. The voice that says…
“I can’t.”
“I’m not good enough.”
“What if I fail (or succeed)?”
It’s all there for all of us. And a coach can help to bust through these beliefs by enabling you to get to the core of them.
This work is very personal to me. I struggled heavily within the confines of traditional academia. For instance, I was told that I was lazy and just needed to ‘apply myself.’ I almost dropped out of college after my freshman year, feeling like it just wasn’t meant for me.
Today, I hold a Master of Science degree, multiple certificates, and have even contemplated a PhD. I was able to rediscover my love of learning by creating the conditions that enabled me to thrive. I learned to let go of limiting beliefs and societal expectations and I am still learning each day. This is NOT easy work and my intention is not to minimize the magnitude of it.
What worked for me likely won’t work for you because you are a unique human with your own needs. But as your coach, I will support you with compassion in creating your method.
The fire for learning burns in all of us. And sadly, our society works hard to extinguish it. As a coach, it’s my job to add wood to that fire. As YOUR coach, I promise you that I will ensure that your light burns bright and that we don’t run out of fuel. The fire may be large or it may be small; that’s up to you. The size is not what matters. For instance, you may desire to take a course to learn basket weaving. Additionally, you may want to go all in on a law degree. It doesn’t matter. You will shine, and you will shine brightly.
Watch this short video to dive deeper into growing yourself.
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