On being Yourself...
The concept of Being Yourself, Showing Yourself, Growing Yourself came to me years ago. It wasn’t quite a ‘vision’ as some might say. But it did come to me through deep reflection. The kind that only can come through during the type of mindfulness that involves disconnecting from the overstimulation that has become so prevalent in our daily lives. It’s difficult to remember the exact moment, but I do remember the feeling. My midlife crisis was in its infancy at that point. I hadn’t reached full burnout, but the warning signs were there. And I was trying to find meaning and purpose to my life. I felt overwhelmed and overstimulated almost all of the time and I was having trouble being myself. So it was both eye and heart opening to be able to see so clearly. It seemed almost elementary to even ask the question…
Who am I really?
This was the beginning of the journey to truly BE MYSELF. The first step was radical honesty. Part of what has become so clear to me is that I don’t / can’t tolerate hypocrisy. It’s a visceral feeling in my body, one that feels impossible to hold inside. What this means is that I’ve chosen powerfully to own my truth, even in cases where I dislike it. I’m not going to reveal all of it here, because we’re still getting to know each other. But a few of the peculiar truths to me once I realized them were…
My pace is slow and deliberate. I am not interested in maximizing productivity and ‘getting a lot done’ throughout the course of a day. I’d rather do one thing well and have the spaciousness to feel and reflect on my accomplishments.
Sovereignty is important to me. I struggle in environments where I’m forced to follow rules that I don’t understand. This has come up several times throughout the course of my life whether it be in the workplace, organized religion, or the politics of the community where I live. Never is the opportunity to call bullshit greater than in these scenarios.
I don’t have to do anything. This has been the hardest lesson. I don’t have to go to every party I’m invited to. Nor, do I have to do the dishes every night. I don’t have to buy the cheapest option. I may choose these things at any given moment, but there is a huge difference between choice and forced obligation.
What about you? Are you feeling bogged down with have-tos, obligations, and rules that you didn’t create? Are you tolerating the status quo out of perceived fear?
First, if this rings true, hiring a coach likely will serve you in shifting the energy around these beliefs. It’s not easy work. These beliefs and rules have been built over the course of your lifetime. And research has shown that change is really hard. But if we can subtly shift in a way that feels safe and supportive, then we’ve got a significant chance to co-create your picture of success.
In looking for a coach, I’d recommend speaking with 3-4 to identify chemistry and fit. As coaches, we’re trained to accept this simple fact:
“Not everyone is going to like you.”
That’s a hard one, but an absolute truth. It wouldn’t be effective for us to work together if we don’t click because trust and the eradication of judgment is core to the coaching relationship.
If you choose to explore coaching with me, know this…
I am certified in professional coaching as well as mindfulness studies.
My packages are designed to be accessible while promoting accountability.
I will come to our meetings fully present and ready to witness you without judgment.
If this calls to you contact me to learn more about what I offer.
“I can’t go back to yesterday, because I was a different person then” ~Alice in Wonderland
Watch this short video to dive deeper into being yourself.
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