Honoring Your Energy
Honoring your energy is no easy task when you are constantly busy and pulled in different directions. In addition to my coaching and education business, I also work for a fantastic EdTech startup. This is a customer success role, the type of work that I’ve done for two decades. It’s exciting work, and I can say humbly and confidently that I’m good at it.
Additionally, it’s the type of work that led me to burnout, it’s not “hard” work per se. By no means does it save lives. However, it has changed over the years. It used to be more about product training and surprising and delighting customers with amazing service. But in recent years, it has become more based on meaningless bullshit metrics and, in some cases, a sales quota.
So, when I resigned from my customer success job at the height of my burnout, I knew I would likely not return to this type of job again. I’d had a good run, but 20 years was enough. Part of my motivation for becoming a coach was that I genuinely believed I would never be able to work in a traditional full-time job again.
New Opportunities
But then an amazing former colleague and mentor resurfaced into my life with, you guessed it, a customer success opportunity. The pull of working with him, as well as my admiration for the mission of this startup, drew me in. But I was terrified. Burnout had damaged me beyond repair. Certainly, that is what I thought.
I’ve always had attention issues. Furthermore, as a kid, I could not sit still and pay attention to anything for more than a few minutes, although I was never formally diagnosed. And being a weird only child didn’t help. Over the years, I learned that to do any type of focused work, I needed to be alone, in a relatively dark room, without stimulation. No noise, no TV, no music with lyrics. As you can imagine, my first year of college was an epic shit show. My only hope was hiding in the library stacks like a weirdo.
The Past
Over the years, I learned to cope, but not through the healthiest means. Working in an open floor-plan office was the worst for me. I’d often pretend to work for the optics of it, but almost always take work home with me so that I could focus. The rise of MS Teams was detrimental. Even now, I have a traumatic response to the notification sound it makes.
Burnout brought me back to square one with the attention issues that I had worked so hard to manage and often mask. So when the opportunity came to work with this person who I deeply respected, I was terrified. Several of my therapy and coaching sessions revolved around this topic. On one hand, I focused on escaping from customer success work. But more importantly, I did not want to fail and make my mentor look bad. My therapist asked me a simple yet profound question about this.
“What accommodations do you need?”
Initially, this question made me want to vomit. The thought that I needed accommodations made me feel damaged and defective. She encouraged me to meditate with the word and really come face to face with its meaning. I wrote it on an index card and placed it beside my meditation chair. For weeks, I looked that word in the face, and I began to surrender to it and reframe it.
Essentialism
The book Essentialism by Greg McKeown is one that I’d describe as life-changing. I’d recommend it to all shiny object followers. There’s a specific exercise highlighted in that book that addresses too-good-to-be-true opportunities. It asks the reader to define three must-haves to consider. I found this to be extraordinarily helpful in evaluating the opportunity in front of me.
My must-haves for ANY opportunity…
- Control over my schedule
- Respect for my boundaries and encouragement to set them
- Opportunities to get out from behind my desk
Looking at it this way makes me wonder…
Is this an accommodation? Or is this just what we all deserve?
The jury’s out on that, but I clarified these three must-haves when negotiating the offer. They were all accepted without a flinch, which gave me the confidence to know I would succeed.
My Conditions
Perhaps it’s honoring your energy or an accommodation. On the other hand, it may just be acceptance and enough confidence to communicate the conditions under which I do my best work. For me, honoring your energy means…
Firstly, no meetings before 10 AM. There are only a few things that I am functional at before 10 AM, and they are…
a. Exercising
b. Meditating
c. Drinking coffee
d. Petting my dog
So my mornings are dedicated to these activities.
Secondly bookends. Monday morning before noon is my prep time. It allows me time and space to prepare for the week ahead, which I honor. Friday afternoons are for deep focus, and I love this because everything is quiet. In the summer, Friday afternoons are for wrapping up early and getting out in my van.
Thirdly, focus blocks in the late afternoon. In my customer success role, I work with a West Coast-based team, so I align with their hours. This suits me well because I have a hard time doing focused work if a ‘thing’ on my calendar is coming up. The thing could be 4 hours away. It doesn’t matter. Because if I can manage to put my head down and focus, I do not want to be distracted thinking about the thing.
Fourthly, I need to be in my dimly lit office to focus where the shades are down. The door is closed. I intentionally light a candle. No more open floor plan cubicles for me – EVER!
Fifthly, notifications are OFF. I check and respond to emails once in the morning and once in the evening. My slack does not make noise. My phone is in work-focus mode during my core working hours. If something is truly urgent, my message to you is CALL ME. Because if you use your phone the old-fashioned way, I know it must be important. And I must say that I’m not that important. 99% of what I do is not urgent. That’s true for most of us. I’m not looking at you healthcare workers or first responders. And believe me, I am grateful for you.
Lastly, my calendar is blocked a lot. This is important as I navigate the journey of having a job and a small business. I know what it’s like in every cell of my being not to have boundaries. If you want to meet with me and can’t find a suitable time, talk to me. Because as much as boundaries are important to me, my intention is not to be rigid. Once in a while, I can take that 8 AM meeting, especially if it is the only time that works for you. I just need to plan for it so I can regulate myself to the best of my ability.
To conclude, there you have it—my shameless accommodations. Or simply put, the conditions under which I do my best work. We all deserve to define what this looks like. How can I help you define your accommodations? Start your journey here.
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