The dirty little secret to hosting for slobs
Dirty
I have a dirty little secret. And it’s dirty, filthy even. It is that I am, well, DIRTY.
As much as I desire to be that person who consistently has a clean house and who can invite people over at a moment’s notice, it’s just not who I am. My floors are only visible under a layer of dog hair. I often leave dishes in the sink for days, and you could write your name in the dust on my coffee table. There are just so many things that I’d rather do than clean.
Thanksgiving Hosting
So, the fact that I’ve been hosting my family for Thanksgiving for over a decade may come as a shock. But I love it! I love feeding people. It’s in my Italian Jewish DNA. I love it when my house is filled with family, eating, drinking, and having a good time. And it’s good for me. It gives me the kick in the ass I need to get my shit together and make my house presentable.
This year, I write this as I’ve just finished hosting. Things feel a bit different because I lost my job in October. This means that I am currently living in an upside-down world where I have lots of time but limited financial resources. And I know I’m not alone in this scenario.
A Different Approach
Taking this into account, my approach this year was different. And I recognize and have so much gratitude for my husband’s support as I navigate this unemployment challenge. The ability to host my family this year would not have been possible without him. To be honest, it would never have been possible without him. My husband has had my back since this all started in 2011.
In hopes of supporting anyone who reads this, I’d like to share some things I’ve learned along the way. It’s almost always likely that the conditions for hosting a holiday will never be ideal because life is always throwing shit at us. But with a little rethinking, it somehow all becomes manageable.
10 Steps to Easy Hosting
Shop the Wholesale Club Early
At the beginning of November, I made the trek to BJs to get the things that would last. In previous years, I had waited until the last minute and found they were out of many things I needed, causing me to scramble. Shopping early saved me a lot of stress.
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- Bonus Tip – Curbside pickup is a game changer if you don’t enjoy shopping at these places.
Get Perishables at the Farmer’s Market
Even though most markets end in October here in New England, I discovered that the town next to me holds a special pre-Thanksgiving market the weekend before Thanksgiving. Despite the wretched weather, I enjoyed shopping here and supporting my community. And it saved me a little bit of money.
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- Bonus Tip – Get your turkey from a farm. You’ll never go back to a frozen one.
- Bonus Bonus Tip – let go of needing a precise list of ingredients and get creative with whatever the farmer’s market offers.
Clean The Fridge
Thanksgiving is my catalyst for going through things, tossing what has expired, and deep cleaning my fridge. It’s nice how it sparkles.
Take a Break
Get a Beer. We have a little Sunday afternoon ritual of visiting our favorite brew pub, and boy, did I need a shower and a beer after all that cleaning.
Spruce Up
While our budget is limited this year, we managed to put up curtains in places we’d ignored for years. A big lesson here as to why is that I suck at starting things. My husband struggles to finish things. Sometimes, that means we do nothing. But when we put our heads together and have the right motivations, watch out…we are an unstoppable force!
Clean in Stages
Previously, I had money but no time. Now I have time but no money. So, there was no way I could justify hiring my usual lovely but expensive housekeeper. The thought of doing it myself, even with time, was daunting. And I will never clean like her. The only way it was going to happen was in stages.
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- Saturday was all about a deep clean of the kitchen.
- Sunday was for dusting. So MUCH dust!
- Monday, I vacuumed like it was going out of style.
- Tuesday, I did the bathrooms.
- Wednesday was all about food prep and little touch-ups, making it seem not so bad.
- All of this reminds me that I actually do like having a clean house.
Eat Well
Shoveling a handful of chips in your face is easy when there’s so much to do. But remember to stop and eat a good meal. I feel happy I got a few goodies from the farmer’s market just for us.
Food Prep
As much as you can do the day before, do it. It will make for a much more easeful day where you feel less like a kitchen bitch and more like a host. Some of my specialties are:
With these videos, please remember that I don’t measure things. I cook from a more intuitive place. That may not be your thing, and that is ok.
Wash Serving Dishes and Glassware
If you don’t use these things often, chances are they have gotten dusty. Have them ready for the big event, even if you end up prepping more than you need.
Relax
Relaxing is a big one – let go of judgment. Your house may not be spotless, but that’s okay. You may have to cut some things or buy cheaper wine, or whatever. That’s also ok. The people you choose to spend time with are your family. They love you and accept you for who you are without judgment. And if they don’t, perhaps there’s an opportunity to ask why you are doing this to begin with.
Remember…
You don’t HAVE TO host.
You don’t HAVE TO clean.
And you don’t HAVE TO cook.
You CHOOSE to.
And if any of this feels like it is not a choice but an obligation, then talk to me, and let’s see how we can help you eliminate the have-tos in your life with more CHOOSE to-s.
Watch this short video to dive deeper into The Dirty Little Secret to Hosting for Slobs.
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